Chinese weddings - the old

Chinese weddings are rooted deep in tradition. There is so much to talk/research about that I don't have a clear idea of where or how to even start telling you about them.

Let's go back, way, way, way back in time. Back in the days where marriages were arranged. Back in the days when brides had dowry's. Back then, there was no such thing as first looks before the ceremony. Hell, the bride and groom didn't even get to see each other's faces until the end of the night when they were to consummate their marriage! 

Pre-wedding traditions (only touching a couple):

 - Picking a lucky date. The date of the wedding has to be a lucky one in order to bring luck, good fortune, and longevity to the couple. Date should be an even number of an even month, but cannot be during the Ghost Festival. There is an entire almanac that is published yearly with listings of what is a good date and what is not.

 - Installation of the bridal bed. This doesn't mean go out buy a new bed and set it up in the couples home. What is really means is that the sheets are changed to brand spanking new red sheets and blankets. Only people who were blessed with children were supposed to dress the bed. Little kids are encouraged to jump on the bed as to bless the couple with lots of children.

Growing up, this was my idea of a bridal bed, based on Chinese movie.
Image via Beijing Holiday

 - Combing of the brides hair. I'm pretty sure that I have only ever seen this done in movies. But knowing Chinese people and their love for traditions, I'm sure this is still done in reality. A comb is run through the brides hair four times. Each to signify a different blessing: together forever, happiness, children, and long life.

Now to get to the good stuff, you want to know what people wear! There were no wedding parties, thus there were no groomsmen or bridesmaids. Of course, people in attendence dressed in their best rags.

 - Exhibit 1: Ancient wedding attire. I'm not sure what the significance of the groom is blue is, but in movies, they always wear blue with a big red bow across their chest. A red cloth would be draped over the brides head piece as a veil. Can you imagine having to wear that thing all day long?

via Life Is Really Beautiful

 - Exhibit 2: Old school, but not ancient wedding attire. The difference between these photos is in what the brides are wearing. In first, the bride is wearing a two piece dress called a "kwa". Kwa's are traditionally worn by people in southern China. In the second photo, the bride is wearing what most people think of when you mention a mandarin collar dress or a Chinese dress. This is actually called a "cheongsam" or "qipao", and was originally worn by women in northern China.

via Life Is Really Beautiful

Kelly Niemann Photography (image cropped by me)

Ceremony:

 - The tea ceremony. This is the equivalent of vow exchange in a western wedding ceremony. There is a lot of bowing, kneeling, and serving of tea by the couple. The tea is served to the parents. As a sign of approval or blessing of the union, the parental units take a sip of the tea and shower the couple of gifts. These gifts are presented in small red envelopes called "li-see" or lucky envelopes. The envelopes usually contain cash in 8's* ($8, $88, $888, etc). In addition to cash, jewelry (gold and jade) is also gifted. After serving the parents, the bride and groom serve the remaining married family members in order of seniority. 

*8 is a REALLY lucky number as is sounds most closely to the word for prosperity in Chinese. To contrast, the number 4 is the worst number as it sounds like the word for die or death.

Two Teacups

Banquet:
Just like western weddings, there is a banquet thrown to celebrate the union. There are a couple of differences. One major one is that the guestlist is open to EVERYONE. I'm not kidding. Anyone your parents know, past or present, are invited. The woman that babysat you when you were 1 year old for 3 months? Yea, she and her entire household are also invited. The guy your dad does business with? Yea, him too, and his wife, and his grown children, AND their children. The theory behind this is that being able to marry you off (if you are the bride) or find you a wife (if you are the groom) is a HUGE milestone. It is a proud moment for your parents and they want to share it with the world. Also, Chinese people, while they are generally tight fisted with their money, are very generous when it comes to wedding presents. It is usually cash and a lot of it. Another difference is the food. Chinese wedding banquets are a feast full of food and drink. A multi-course meal is served family style and can last hours. Each course represents something or other. If you walk away hungry or sober, then the host (groom's parents) have not done their job.

- Theme and decor. There is only one color theme: red and gold. End of discussion. There are no flowers for boutinoueres or bouquets. There are no flowers for center pieces. BUT, there is signage. Double happiness, phoenix and dragon symbols galore. Where ever there is room, they will be place.

via china-cart

There is probably a whole slew of stuff that I don't know about or have forgotten to mention. Are you tired of reading yet? Because I'm tired of typing this up (it's taken me an entire day). Next up, I'll talk about modern Chinese weddings.

36 days.