Meltdown #1

I think this might be my first official bridal related meltdown. I seem to recall a previous one, but I'm far too lazy to search through my previous posts to find mention of it, let me know if you remember it.

I'm running on 3 hours of intermittent sleep. For the life of me I could not fall asleep last night. But when I finally did, oh say around 3am, I could not stay asleep. What's eating me? Well, ready yourself for a not so peppy post.

Weddings planning is not rainbows, puppies, unicorns, and sparkles. There are people that LOVE wedding planning. You people are whack. You are probably on crack or something. You have to be. (*disclaimer - I still love you guys, I just think you must be smoking something. Maybe you should share.) I HATE wedding planning. And I'm a person that plans EVERYTHING.

We are 2 days shy of the 5 month mark and I feel like NOTHING is done. I had hoped that by this point all of our vendors would be lined up. I had hoped that I would just be working on DIY projects in my spare time. I had hoped that we'd be all laid back and zenned out. Instead, I'm lying awake last night, stressed out, and FREAKING out about everything.

What's wrong?

• I cannot find frog buttons for my Chinese dress. Who freaken knew that they would be this stupid hard to find? You would think that living in Boston of all places, you know a city with a large Chinese populations, that I could find buttons. What about New York City...nope, I struck out there too, what the crap?
• I realized at 10:30pm last night that I had completely flaked on returning the contract to the hair and makeup vendor. It stated in bold and underlined words that the contract was to be signed and returned within 7 days. Here I am at 9, 2 days overdue!!! And to make matters worse, I can not just print it out, sign it, scan it, and email it back right then and there because our internet is broken and I'm out of printer paper. (Update, I took care of it this morning at work and all is good.)
• At 5 months, we do no have a videographer contracted. We are not even in communication with a single videographer!!!! Seriously, how did it get to this point. I was yelling at Jake last night that we are not going to be able to have a videographer, one of the caliber that I want at our wedding because we waited this freaken long. Why did I wait on this? I knew better. Venue, photographer, videographer are 3 vendors you get upfront so that you get what you want when you want it. UGH!!
• Flowers...let's not talk about center pieces. The sheer thought of the topic just makes me want to throw a traditional Chinese banquet so that we do not have to even deal with this.
• The groom. Oh where do I start with this one? He sees wedding planning as a chore, like taking out the garbage. Such a thing he couldn't be bothered with. WHAT THE CRAP?!?! Poor Jake, I spent a good 15 minutes last night blaming him for all this stress. I've said it before, if it were just up to me, we would go to the courthouse and have a backyard BBQ afterwards. But noooooooo, Jake wants a *shiny* full blown shindig. Him and his bright ideas. He said let's get married and then must have thought that fairies would come out of the woodwork and make it all happen. Maybe they will pee rainbows and poop sparkles while they are at it. (But everyone knows that unicorns poop rainbows!)
• Me. I cannot half ass anything for the life of me. I am an all or nothing kind of gal. Either I do it and I do it right, or I just do not do it at all. I wish that I could just stop caring and outsource everything, but I cannot. Have I mentioned that I have a full time job during the day as well?!

That's enough venting out of me for now. Sorry guys, I just could not pretend to be happy-go-lucky this morning. Maybe if I get some sleep...