Friday, September 10, 2010


When I get the hiccups, I get them bad. They are loud, violent, and they strike at will. I think they're obnoxious, but everyone else seems to be entertained by them. My coworkers have laughed at me. My coworkers have tried scaring them out tof me. Nothing works, I just have to wait till they go away on their own. However, I do know how to turn them on. Swallowing bread after forgetting to chew always does the trick. My friend Jack used to laugh at me every morning in grad school because of this very reason. 

Yesterday, the hiccups hit me twice. The first time, I was walking down the hall at work behind a random dude. After the 5th hiccup, he turned around to give me a funny look. Sorry buddy, but I have no control over them. The second time I was at the shower! Apparently they were so loud, Jake could hear me clear across the apartment.

So why am I telling you about this? While I was hiccuping, it dawned on me that I might possibly hiccup during the ceremony! Of all the things that I could possible worry about, I'm thinking about hiccups. Oye!

I can just see it now, gorgeous sunset, beautiful bride, our officiant saying a few words, *HICCUP*. I start shaking/convulsing/heaving all the while "hicuuup" are escaping my lips. Which then will be followed by both of my hands over my mouth and the crowd rolling in laughter. At least everyone will be entertained.

Note to self, do not eat anything right before walking down the aisle.

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