ESL(English as a second language) vs ESF (English as a first language)

Jake: Phone, phone? [while looking for his phone]
Celia: Why do you need your phone?
Jake: So Phil can call me.
Celia: Oh.
Jake: Phil yut ding yew bay ngo [Chinese translation - Phil must give me]
Celia: Huh? What does Phil need to give you?
Jake: No, Phil needs to call me.
Celia: Oh, Phil yew da bay lay. [Phil needs to call you]
Jake: Yea, Phil yew bay ngo. [Phil needs to give me]
Celia: Give you?
Jake: Bay ngo [Give me]
Celia: Give you?
Jake: I know how to say give me! How do I say he needs to call me?!
Celia: Oh. Phil yew call ngo. [Phil needs to call me] Phil yew da din wah bay lay or yew da bay lay. [Phil needs to give you a telephone call]
Jake: OK, that's what I was asking.
Celia: No you weren't, you just kept saying give me.
Jake: No, you were asking me how to say give me. I know how to say give me.

We should have our own sitcom.